22 Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Your Husband
Do you feel like your relationship with your husband isn’t what it used to be? Perhaps you’re navigating ongoing frustration, emotional distance, or a growing sense of disconnection due to lack of quality time together. These feelings are common and overwhelming, but you’re not alone.
I’m Gayle Weill, a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping individuals work through relationship struggles. Whether it’s addressing personal patterns or building healthier ways of communicating, I’ve seen how individual efforts can profoundly impact relationships and keep a relationship strong, ultimately improving one’s quality of life.
A strong relationship makes life more rewarding and fulfilling. This blog is here to help you identify the best ways for how to improve your relationship with your husband—from enhancing your understanding of yourself to shifting the dynamics between both you and your spouse. Even small changes can lead to meaningful progress. Let’s explore how to enhance healthy relationships and how to take the first steps toward a stronger, more fulfilling connection.
Understanding the Root of the Problem
Every marriage faces its share of challenges, but resolving them isn’t always as simple as it seems. Many common issues are like the tip of an iceberg—visible and tangible—yet driven by deeper, often hidden dynamics.
Here are some common challenges many couples experience:
Frequent misunderstandings or a lack of good communication skills
A lack of physical intimacy or emotional connection
Recurring arguments over seemingly minor issues
Feeling unappreciated or undervalued
Diverging priorities or goals over time
While these surface-level challenges are important to address, they’re often rooted in deeper factors that require thoughtful exploration and self-awareness to resolve. Below, we’ll explore some of these underlying factors that may be at play.
Unresolved Personal History
Past experiences, such as childhood trauma or previous relationship wounds can effect our mental health and how we perceive and respond in our current relationship.
For instance, fear of abandonment might lead to overreacting during small disagreements or withdrawing when conflicts arise.
Communication Patterns Learned Over Time
The way we express our needs often reflects patterns we’ve picked up from family or previous relationships.
Miscommunication may stem from learned behaviors, such as avoiding conflict or overcompensating to keep the peace, making productive dialogue difficult.
Unmet Emotional Needs
Feeling disconnected or resentful might signal unmet emotional needs, such as a desire for affirmation, support, or deeper intimacy.
When these needs go unspoken or unmet, they can manifest as frustration or distance.
Understanding these deeper factors is key to creating meaningful change in your relationship—starting with yourself.
22 tips for how to build a better relationship with your husband
Creating a stronger relationship often means working on specific areas. These tips are organized into categories to help you focus on the aspects of your relationship that matter most—starting with how you communicate, deepening intimacy, and improving connection in other meaningful ways.
These are tips for how to strengthen your commitment and keep a good relationship with your husband.
Communication tips for improving your relationship – Tips for good relationship between husband and wife
1. Practice Active Listening
Example scenario: During a disagreement, instead of thinking about your response, you focus on being a good listener, making eye contact, and having a good understanding of your partner’s point of view.
How it helps: Active listening fosters understanding and diffuses tension, keeping relationships strong. It shows your partner you value their thoughts, which can de-escalate conflicts and encourage open dialogue.
2. Use “I” Statements
Example scenario: Instead of assigning blame and saying, “You never help around the house,” you say, “I feel overwhelmed when the chores pile up, and I could use more help.”
How it helps: When you use “I” statements it reduces defensiveness and makes it easier for your partner to understand your feelings and respond constructively. This is a good way to reduce stress when married.
3. Clarify Instead of Assuming
Example scenario: When your partner seems distracted during dinner, you ask, “Are you feeling stressed?” instead of assuming he’s uninterested in your conversation.
How it helps: Clarifying prevents misinterpretations and unnecessary arguments in marriage, fostering trust and empathy, enhancing a strong relationship. Remember, you aren’t a mind reader – you don’t know what your partner is actually thinking, which is why it can be helpful for your family to clarify rather than assume.
4. Express Appreciation Regularly
Example scenario: You thank your husband for picking up groceries without being prompted, even though it’s a shared responsibility in your marriage.
How it helps: Expressing gratitude reinforces positive behavior and reminds both of you of the good that you have together.
Intimacy tips for improving your relationship
5. Schedule Dedicated Time Together
Example scenario: You make spending time together a priority by setting aside Friday nights as “date nights,” where you both disconnect from work and do something together that you both enjoy, like cooking dinner together, watching a favorite movie, or even rock climbing if that’s something you both enjoy. Those types of things don’t have to be reserved only for a first date. Make date nights a fun way to reconnect with one another and keep the physical intimacy alive. Talk about life, shared interests, goals, and even necessary difficult conversations, rather than just day-to-day logistics.
How it helps: Scheduling time shows your partner that they are a priority. It strengthens emotional and physical intimacy by allowing you to reconnect without distractions. Recreating the excitement of early romantic relationships keeps the spark alive and reminds both of you why you fell in love in the first place. Regular, intentional communication strengthens your bond, keeps your relationship strong, helps you stay connected to each other’s inner worlds, and ultimately is a good way to continue a happy marriage. In marriage the most important thing is not to just spend time together, but to spend quality time together.
6. Make Time for Non-Sexual Physical Affection for how to maintain a good relationship with your husband
Example scenario: You make it a point to have affectionate contact by greeting your husband with a hug when he comes home, holding hands during a walk, or giving him a spontaneous kiss while cooking dinner, without any expectations.
How it helps: For most people, small acts of physical touch and affection create moments of connection, fostering closeness and keeping physical intimacy alive even during tough times. This can enhance your overall romantic partnership.
7. Express Your Feelings Regularly
Example scenario: You take a moment during dinner to tell your husband how much you appreciate his support during a stressful week.
How it helps: To talk openly, expressing love and gratitude, builds emotional intimacy by reinforcing the bond and reminding both partners of their importance to each other, ensuring a healthy relationship.
8. Explore New Activities Together
Example scenario: During a date night you sign up for a couples’ dance class or try a new hiking trail over the weekend.
How it helps: Shared experiences create novelty and excitement for every relationship, which can reignite the spark keeping your relationship fresh and building shared memories for a committed relationship.
9. Have Honest Conversations About Intimacy
Example scenario: You gently bring up a topic about what makes you feel connected and invite your husband to share his perspective in a calm, judgment-free environment.
How it helps: Honest discussions about intimacy can remove barriers, address misunderstandings, and help you both meet each other’s needs more effectively.
10. Create Small Rituals of Connection
Example scenario: You make it a habit to have coffee together each morning or say a loving goodnight before going to bed.
How it helps: Rituals provide consistent moments of connection and respect, fostering a sense of stability and closeness in the partnership.
11. Be Playful and Lighthearted
Example scenario: You initiate a pillow fight or send a flirty text during the day to make your husband smile.
How it helps: Playfulness adds fun for a couple, reminding you both to enjoy each other’s company and keep things lighthearted.
12. Focus on the Whole Person
Example scenario: You compliment your partner on something unrelated to your partnership with one another, like their work ethic or creativity.
How it helps: Showing appreciation for your partner as a person strengthens their self-confidence and deepens your bond, fostering intimacy.
13. Address Fears Openly
Example scenario: You share with your partner that you’ve been afraid of being vulnerable about your needs in your sex life because of past experiences and keep communication open.
How it helps: Addressing fears openly fosters trust and understanding, creating a safe space for exploring and meeting each other’s needs more fully. By incorporating these strategies, you can strengthen your romance and build an intimacy that thrives on trust, understanding, and mutual effort.
14. Plan a Getaway to Reconnect
Example scenario: You book a weekend at a cozy hotel room where you can relax, unplug, and focus entirely on each other.
How it helps: Changing your environment allows you to step away from daily stressors and rediscover the joy of simply being together. By integrating these tips into your family life, you can create a more balanced, harmonious, and fulfilling partnership built on mutual respect and care.
Other tips for improving your relationship
15. Practice Forgiveness
Example scenario: Your husband forgets to pick up groceries on his way home. Instead of holding a grudge, you express your frustration calmly and move forward without resentment.
How it helps: Forgiveness prevents minor issues from escalating and helps both partners feel safe admitting when they are wrong, fostering trust and emotional safety.
16. Support Each Other’s Individual Goals
Example scenario: Your husband wants to train for a marathon, so you encourage him by managing some household responsibilities while he trains.
How it helps: Supporting personal ambitions demonstrates respect for each other’s individuality and shows that you’re invested in each other’s happiness beyond the relationship. Maintaining your own interests and encouraging your husband to do the same makes the partnership stronger in unexpected ways.
17. Celebrate Milestones and Achievements
Example scenario: You plan a small dinner to celebrate your husband’s work promotion, making him feel appreciated and seen.
How it helps: Acknowledging achievements strengthens the partnership by creating moments of joy and showing you value each other’s success. People told you that marriage takes effort, and celebrating achievements is one way to show you care in a big or small way.
18. Learn Each Other’s Love Language
Example scenario: You realize your partner’s love language is “acts of service,” so you make his favorite meal after a tough day.
How it helps: Understanding love languages helps you express affection in ways that are most meaningful to your partner, enhancing emotional connection in the same way your partner does when meeting your needs.
19. Set Boundaries with Outside Influences
Example scenario: You agree to limit discussing relationship challenges with your own friends or family to maintain privacy and protect your bond.
How it helps: Healthy boundaries prevent external opinions from creating unnecessary tension, allowing many spouses to work through issues together while giving each other space to grow as individuals.
20. Be Present in the Moment
Example scenario: Instead of scrolling on your phone during dinner, you engage in conversation and focus on your partner.
How it helps: Mindful presence shows your partner that they matter to you as a person, strengthening your connection and making time spent together more meaningful. Maintaining self-respect and focusing on quality time can deepen the connection in ways you might not expect.
21. Tackle Challenges as a Team
Example scenario: When faced with unexpected expenses, you sit down together to create a budget plan instead of one partner blaming the other.
How it helps: A team-oriented approach builds mutual respect and reinforces the idea that you’re working toward the same goals.
22. Maintain a Sense of Humor
Example scenario: When dinner burns, you laugh about it and order pizza instead of letting it ruin the evening for your family.
How it helps: Humor diffuses tension and brings lightheartedness to everyday situations for both you and your partner, making your relationship stronger, more enjoyable and resilient.
When to seek professional help for building a healthy relationship with your husband
While self-help strategies can improve your relationship in meaningful ways, they aren’t a substitute for professional guidance when deeper challenges arise. A therapist can provide tailored support and tools to help you navigate complex issues that may be difficult to address on your own.
Here are some signs that it may be time to seek professional help:
Frequent arguments that escalate without resolution.
Feeling disconnected from your husband despite your efforts to reconnect.
Ongoing trust issues stemming from infidelity or other breaches.
Difficulty communicating without anger, criticism, or shutting down.
Persistence of resentment, loneliness, anxiety, or unhappiness in the relationship.
External stressors, like financial problems, impacting your bond in significant ways.
If these signs resonate with you, consider reaching out to a qualified professional. Therapy can help you and your partner address underlying challenges and build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
Final thoughts
Building a healthy, fulfilling relationship takes effort, patience, and intention. The tips shared here can help you rekindle intimacy and foster mutual respect in your relationship. However, even with the best intentions, some challenges may require a deeper understanding that only therapy can provide.
Seeking professional help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a proactive step toward growth and healing. Therapy offers a supportive space to uncover the root of recurring issues, learn new skills, and build a stronger connection with your husband.
As a psychotherapist, I specialize in helping individuals navigate the complexities of their relationships. Whether you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, I’m here to guide you. Let’s work together to help you build the healthy, happy relationship you deserve. Reach out today to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
